things i’m good at

i have a love-and-hate relationship with facebook. most of the time, i love it because it’s full of information about the happenings in my surroundings. but other times, i hate it for the same reason. and today is one of those days where i regret having created a facebook account mainly because for the nth time, it has made me feel like a loser despite all my accomplishments in life.

i guess that’s what you get when you’re always in the loop – you see what everybody is doing in their lives. but the sad part is that the comparison never stops, which means envy is always present. in career, for instance. you just want to find out what everybody else is doing for a living. who became a company president or a businessman? who became a plain housewife/husband despite good grades in high school?

and it’s always the job or how good a person is in making money that seems to be the measurement of success. don’t get me wrong – i am more passionate in my career than you think. but still, i can’t shake off devon woodcomb’s (chuck) words: “don’t confuse your job with your life.” so i’ve decided to make a list of the things am good at that are not career-related before i get too deep into self-pity mode:

1. i’m a good daughter and sister. i may not be a perfect daughter and a sister to my parents and siblings, but i can confidently say that i’ve given more than what i was asked – out of love, of course. i love my family dearly that i want to give only the best to them.

growing up in a family that’s always struggling financially, i promised myself that when i become financially free, i will give                    my parents and brothers the kind of life they’ve never enjoyed. and that’s what i’ve been doing right now. i may not be                            married, but the fulfillment and love that i get from supporting my family are enough to make my life meaningful.

2. i’m a good friend. it’s one of the things that i pride myself on. i may not be a social butterfly who has hundreds, if not                           thousands, of contacts. but i can definitely keep long-lasting friendships.

i’m loyal, but i know when i have to tell straight to your face that you need to get your act together. tough love, that’s what                   they call it. and my friends really appreciate this in me. they also love getting pieces of advice from me.

3.  i’m generous. because am good in managing my finances, there’s always room for helping others.

4. i’m passionate. when i set my mind to something, i never stop till i get it. i even inspire other people who aren’t self-starters             like i am. and it feels good to be an inspiration.

5. i’m self-aware. it may not be a common achievement to celebrate, but i still take pride on this one. simply because i believe           that a lot of problems easily get solved when a person is self-aware. and because i am self-aware, it’s very easy for me to just               let go and be happy. i can embrace even the kind of emotions that people usually repress, such as sadness or anxiety                               that’s why it’s easy for me to let go of them.

i didn’t do this list to brag. i’m just trying to count my blessings. because in a world where you are defined by what you do for a living, it’s very easy to forget your true worth.










love, happiness, and the “chicken or egg” conundrum

exactly three and a half years ago, a guy from my former work tried to pursue me. he wasn’t exactly my type (mostly because of our age difference), but it was such an ego boost, knowing that someone like me who rarely gets attention from guys is actually being courted. my guy friend said, at that time, i was “blooming.” i told him maybe because i was happy and was finally moving on from the devastating incident involving the only man i’d ever loved in my life.

fast forward to the present, i have been getting the same comments again from people around me – from friends and even from acquaintances. they said i look a lot younger than 28 and that i am “charming.” coincidentally, i’m being pursued again by a guy, who because of our age difference i decided not to get together with. (although he’s still very much present in my life.)

this got me thinking, am i attracting love because i’m happy or am i happy because i’m attracting love? like the proverbial “chicken or egg” conundrum, i couldn’t help but wonder, which came first: happiness or love?

while there’s no formula in finding love, it’s almost always true that when you are [genuinely] happy, it manifests in your appearance. and as a result, you attract people. like a magnet, you gain more friends and even admirers. because you are fun to be with and pleasant to be around, more people are drawn closer to you. you become more beautiful than usual – you have a certain glow. and that’s when guys can’t seem to resist you that you’ll just find yourself entertaining more than one admirer.

so what then came first, happiness or love? while it isn’t that obvious, love really is the proverbial chicken and happiness is the egg. but love as the proverbial chicken isn’t the romantic kind. it’s usually the capital-L kind – the one you have for yourself, craft, family, friends, and life.

it’s when you are at peace with yourself and trust yourself well enough and the decisions you make on a daily basis. it’s when you are dedicating every day to pursuing your dreams and perfecting your craft, doing what it takes to hone the skills that were given to you and loving what you do for a living. it’s when you have become more appreciative of the people in your life, letting go of any judgment towards your family and friends, knowing that they’ve accepted and loved you as you are. and above all, it’s when you have the zest to wake up every morning, thinking that another opportunity has been given to you to correct your past mistakes and to just enjoy what you have.

when you are given the chance to do all these, the end result is happiness. contrary to what thomas jefferson said, happiness isn’t something to be pursued – it’s really the end result of living your life in love. when the capital-L kind rules your life, the tendency is for you to become happy with where you are and what you have become. the love you have for yourself, craft, family, friends, and life essentially transforms into the romantic kind. and happiness has only become the tool.

with that said, maybe finding true love isn’t a quest for a life partner or a soul mate. it’s about finding yourself and being at peace with what you’ll discover.