I Don’t Believe in Love

Two years ago, i asked myself (even made a post here) if I still believe in love. And you’d think after a couple of years, I’d already have the answer.

I scrapped that story I was writing. It’s a romantic story. And I dropped it for a reason – I don’t believe (and won’t ever believe) in love.

But the funny thing is that I’m still that same girl who would cry at weddings. I’m still that same girl who would get butterflies in her stomach with a guy’s grand romantic gesture. I’m still that same girl who thinks a man should never stop courting her girl.

So why in the world don’t I believe in love?

Because the love that we all so know about is deceiving. Because the love on which we base all Oscar-winning movies is not real. Because the love that Ted Mosby has been telling his children in all 9 seasons of How I Met Your Mother is fleeting, much like his relationships.

More importantly, because the love I believe in is one where you’d both promise never to run off to the exit door when times get tough and the romance that once held you together like a glue is gone. Because the love I believe in is one where, despite your differences (coz you’ll have differences, guaranteed), you’d both promise to work hard on the relationship because you both know nothing precious is ever easy to keep. Because the love I believe in is one where you’ll help each other keep your heads above the water when life’s pressures gush in. Because the love I believe in is one that’s not based on emotions but on a conscious decision that no matter what happens, you’d have each other’s back in great faith.

Like my old self from two years ago, I’m still putting my chip on the table. I’m still rolling the dice. But now I know on which to place my bet. Now I know that hope is not a drug one could addictively take, unlike Carrie Bradshaw’s view in Sex and the City, because to believe is to hope. And now I know that believing is only harmful if you’re betting the wrong chip – the wrong kind of love.

I guess two years and many experiences later, I’m still a believer. But no longer will I take advice from old friends Ted Mosby and Carrie Bradshaw.

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