my life has been all about choices lately. on the one hand, it’s a good thing because that means i have freedom. but on the other, it’s a terrible thing to be caught up in the web of confusion that makes it harder for you to choose.
nevertheless, the divine has been good to me, and i was able to drill down to what will really make me happy. but the decisions made were not easy. i had to search my soul for answers that i wasn’t even sure were there or if i had to create them out of necessity.
but here i am now, still alive and kicking. and after all the drama and heartaches, i realized what helped me get through all of it: acceptance.
no, it’s not that i backed down without putting up a fight. of course i did what every dreamer would do to anything that wants to take away his/her dreams. here, by acceptance, i mean being open to what the divine (or destiny or universe, whatever it is that you believe in) is telling you to do. if the divine is telling you to pause, unless you do, you’re just going to set yourself up for more trouble and heartache. acceptance is also embracing certain “truths.”
- that attraction isn’t something you can control just by becoming attractive. my favorite inspirational speaker published a book on how to find your one true love, where he enumerated steps that can be followed, as if there’s actually a formula. and one of the techniques he mentioned was becoming attractive through self-improvement inside and out.
logic will tell you that just by looking your best all the time and being a good person who looks after other people’s welfare, not just yours, is a surefire way to attract a mate. but recently, thanks to curveballs that life threw at me, i realized that love is really that mysterious that it’s just impossible to come up with techniques in finding a partner. you can be your best self everyday – on the inside and out – while really putting yourself out there for every potential mate to see and still fail.
2. that chasing after things you don’t care about will only give you stress. there’s a saying that goes: “working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress. working hard for something we love is called passion.” it sounds like a cliche’ that’s been passed around and yet everyone just shrugs off.
and i was one of those who just brushed aside the idea, thinking that every opportunity that comes my way is really worth my time and effort. i think of each of them as blessings from above when all they are are a gauge for me to know what my true priorities are. all this time, i’ve been thinking that by saying yes to every opportunity that comes, i am enriching my life. i forgot that my time here on earth is limited that i should only focus on what’s really important to me or i’ll waste precious energy and time.
3. that sometimes, it’s enough to just be open. i belong to the generation of go-getters – the ones who are always told we could only amount to something if we go after what we want by any means necessary. while that’s exciting to think about, in reality, it’s exhausting. of course for certain endeavors, only by being aggressive can you be successful. but sometimes, when being aggressive isn’t enough – you have to take a pause and breathe. because sometimes, all we need to do is be open and stop obsessing. besides, there are other equally important things in life to take care of.
4. that it’s better to be alone than fake it. i’ve been single for more than 5 years now. but it’s only recently that i’ve decided to open myself up to a new relationship (long story – might need another entry here). and god, of course, knew of this decision that’s probably why he sent a few guys my way who expressed their interest in me.
if i were my old desperate self, i would’ve given in to any one of my suitors. but because i knew better, i didn’t. i know in myself that none of them are good for me, and if i do get together with any of them, it’s only because i want to be in a relationship already. so i thought to myself, i’d rather be alone than lie to other people – or to myself.
it’s easy to feel bad with every single curveball that life throws at you. but if you only know how to look for the silver lining in every situation, life won’t seem so hard after all.