no matter how hard you resist change, you’ll never win the battle. that’s the most important lesson i’ve learned today.

i went to my friend’s mom’s birthday party where our caring group would also hold our regular meeting. interesting discussion – i can say that. and because we’re all girls, the “boy” talk is inevitable.

i can’t believe i got that comfortable baring my soul to our group, which i usually only do when am with a small group. granting a group of 5 is still small, but i’m more comfortable sharing those things in a one-on-one discussion.

i talked about how much of a dense person i am when it comes to love – that i can’t tell if a guy likes me or that i don’t like romantic gestures because i think they’re phony. i also told them i don’t believe in courtship because i just want the guy to be straightforward with me about his feelings so we can cut the crap.

when those words came out of my mouth, i knew right then and there that i’ve changed –  a lot. i used to be an ooey-gooey romantic who dreams of having her wedding ceremony in a pond (don’t ask). i also dreamed of how romantic our special day would be. but hearing those words come out of my mouth made me realize that i am no longer the person that i once was. and i think i know what happened in between that changed me.

dennis happened. it’s not that he took away my faith in love. it’s just that what happened between me and him made me a realistic person that i am now. i became a person who always makes sure she’s in touch with reality. it’s not that i became bitter about love; it’s just that i became more of a down-to-earth than a head-in-the-clouds-romantic.

and i don’t see anything wrong with that. because if there’s one thing that i hate the most, it’s keeping me from making my decision a conscious one when it’s about a very important matter. but one thing i also realized and am now asking myself: “could i have been in the wrong part of the planet?”

most filipinos are nothing like me when in comes to love. telenovelas are a perfect evidence. a lot of people (both guys and girls) live a “telenovela” life. they all believe in “happily ever after” as soon as the wedding bells ring. they don’t realize that real life is just beginning when a couple says their “i do.” and they only know of a “romeo and juliet” type of affair, where two people are supposed to battle it out in the jungle to find a mate. they never consider that keeping the relationship as a married couple is a lot harder and much more interesting (not to mention, realistic). sadly, this makes it a lot harder to be single around here.

after all these is said, i now ask myself: should i move to another country to find the one for me?


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