big girl problems

i guess it’s a sign that you’re already old when you have “big girl” problems in your life. (i don’t mean weight problems, although that could be one of them. haha!) you take care of other people now, not only when they’re physically sick but also when their wallets are out of life. you look after them and make sure they’re always safe.

that’s my life right now. with my age and marital status, i am taking care of my parents financially. although i admit i seldom go with them to the doctor for their checkups (because i work graveyard shift), i work hard to sustain their living. but sometimes, being me is not easy. i should’ve been rich by now if i wasn’t helping them financially. i could have a butt-load of investments if i hadn’t been too careless with money before and if i wasn’t giving my folks money. but where’s the fun in not having responsibilities, right?

despite all my problems – being a second mom to my brothers and my parents, i wouldn’t have my life any other way. simply because when i took on these responsibilities, i learned so much about myself, life, and what it means to be an adult.

  1. as an adult, i learned that i have to be able to distinguish what is a problem from what’s not. adulthood is complicated in itself – even without serious problems. you have bills to pay, mouths to feed, goals to reach – it’s innately hard. that is why it is very important to be able to know where to spend your energy on. otherwise, you’re just gonna spend your whole day worrying about the pettiest of things.
  2. being an adult means enjoying your freedom but within set limits. you can enjoy your money all you want but not to the point of forgetting to save and invest (and help). you can go wherever you want but not to the point of abandoning your priorities and your health. you can also meet as many people as you want but not to the point of surrounding yourself with toxic people.
  3. being an adult means appreciating your past, present, and future. it’s easy to be bitter about the past (or even your present) but remember, everything you’ve been through, are going through, and will go through are what makes you who you are.
  4. you gotta have patience – a truck-load of it. my patience is challenged 24/7. i am surrounded by people that, while close to my heart, are also very different from me in terms of personality. we respect each other, but most of the time, we are not in the same page. as an adult, i learned to be patient with people around me because we have differences. and recognizing those differences means respecting them.
  5. worrying doesn’t help – that’s another thing i learned as an adult. as cliche as the line “there’s a solution to every problem” may sound, it is true. because like i said above, adulthood is already difficult, why complicate it further?
  6. learn to say “sorry.” as a grown-up, it’s so hard to put your ego aside when dealing with life’s complications. but as i journeyed through adulthood, i learned that saying sorry (and actually meaning it) is [one of] the most important lessons i should learn. because no matter how much money i make, life only becomes worth living if it’s filled with great relationships.

i’m sure the list goes beyond number 6. but maybe i need more time to make the list longer. to sum it all up in a sentence, being an adult simply means enjoying your life responsibly, together with the people you love.

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