compete

why do we compete? for thousands of years, humans have been fighting – not just with other humans but with other creatures as well – for the monopoly of earth’s resources. in our struggle to survive in what was once an almost uninhabitable planet, we would weed out the weak so only the strongest would live.

but we are not anymore living in an era where we still have to hunt down our food for lunch. we are now afforded all the niceties and conveniences modern life has to offer. so why do we still compete with one another?

while we were told that we were created unique from each other – that we have different skill sets and interests – we all want the same things, generally speaking. we all want to succeed, to be happy, and to live life to the fullest. and in our pursuit for them,

a doctor and a writer may both want to lead successful lives. but the first one would do so in a hospital and the other in front of his computer at some coffee shop. and even if two persons happen to have the same profession, it doesn’t mean they’ll get what they want using the same process. no. because the first one may be a student of the arts who thrives in chaos and the other a master organizer who sees order and logic in things.

we are all different – not in what we want out of life but in what we do to get them. so when we compare ourselves with others and we compete, we are only setting ourselves up for unnecessary disaster. we get hurt and then think it’s a part of life. when in truth, it shouldn’t be. because nobody should tell you how to live your life just as you shouldn’t dictate others how to live theirs.

so at the end of the day, with your unique way in thriving in this world, you should only compete with yourself – outdo yourself every single day – because only you would ultimately know how you want to live your life.

Advertisements

make the most of what i have

after searching my soul and wringing my brain for a concrete reason why am letting go of my canada plan, i’ve finally found what am looking for. i am staying because i want to make the most out of what i have. 

true, it’s way more expensive to live here in the philippines considering the income and the living expenses. but i already have a great job (a great salary at that). i could use a salary increase, of course. but with what i have right now, i am already able to start making my dreams come true. plus, my job is very interesting. it is a combination of the things i love: writing, finance, and information.

it’s like they say, “don’t fix what ain’t broken.” why should i bother leaving this country when my whole life is here. my family and friends are here. my career is here. maybe after all, the opportunities are here. and maybe by moving to canada for the sake of earning more money is just me rushing to become rich. 

but bo sanchez opposes to that. and i think i agree with him. easy come, easy go. if you didn’t build your wealth from the ground up, chances are, you won’t appreciate your wealth like you would if you worked hard for it. so maybe that’s how it’d be for me if i move abroad just because i wanted to fast track my finances. 

but how else do i help my brothers without sacrificing my personal dreams. am sure god will make a way. 

 

 

 

let it go

for some reason, there has been a theme this year: letting go. and this is what sets this year apart from last year. because last year has been about trying with all my might to cling on to things i thought i valued. of course most of them are truly important. but some of them are just there to test me.

but nonetheless, letting go of things that are not really important to me has been liberating. and i am familiar with this feeling. because a few years ago, i freed myself by making a very difficult yet very important decision that will set out the course of the rest of my journey.

i just passed the series 7 exam to become a licensed stock broker. and i had only one exam (series 63) left to pass so i can start practicing my profession. but i wasn’t happy. i could feel in my bones that i’m not where am supposed to be. so even though i was almost sure i could pass the remaining series 63 exam (coz in our mock exam, i got a high score even though i hadn’t finished reviewing to the last chapter of the book yet.), i decided to hand in my resignation letter. and it was the best decision i had ever made in my life. because blessings poured in after that.

today, am in a very similar situation. am also making a very tough yet very important decision. it’s been 3 years since i embarked on my journey of migrating to canada. and it’s been 3 times that i tried and failed. and the longer i wait for my plan to materialize, the more i realize what really matters to me: to be always available for my sickly parents and for my brothers who might need my help every now and then and to be able to follow my crazy dreams for myself and my career. all of which cannot be achieved by my canada plans.

so here i am right now. running towards something instead of running away from my mistakes and the people with which i’ve made such mistakes. am still afraid of what will happen from hereon forward. but as they say, “just take the leap and the net will appear.” and i know the lord will be my net.

perfect imperfection

i always forget that am just a human being and am not perfect. in all aspects of my life, i expect a lot from myself – that i’d submit perfect stories every time, that i’d be in my ideal weight for the rest of my life, or that i’ll never ever have a bad day. 

but the mere thought of achieving perfection is flawed in itself. because there is no such thing as perfection. you can only meet certain standards, but you can never be everything all at once. you can be a good listener but not a good speaker. a good boss but not a good parent. a good teacher but not a good student. you can’t always have it all.

but why are we still hell-bent over the idea that we can achieve perfection? maybe because that’s part of our being imperfect. we are wired to strive for the impossible even if our brains know how stupid that can be – even in theory. 

so what to do to stop this madness then? recognize your flaw. aim to strike a balance in everything but know that you can’t give your 100% in all aspects. there will always be sacrifices. and be fine with that. 

 

how i let go of your uncle dennis

i usually have a lot to say when it comes to love and relationships, especially after watching my favorite tv series “how i met your mother.” i can relate so much to the show that it’s able to dig up all of my issues so i can ponder over them.

this episode, sunrise, ted has finally let go of robin. all this time, he thought he was over her. he’d been with a lot of women over the past 8 years, so he didn’t think that robin is still occupying a huge space in his heart. no wonder none of those relationships he’s had worked out – he couldn’t empty the space robin has been occupying all along. and the sad part is, he realized that at the time they can’t anymore be together. because robin is already marrying his best friend barney.

to me it’s just confusing whether to call so many years of loving just one person a waste or to call it true love. in my case, it took me nearly 10 years to finally say am over dennis. although to this day, am pretty sure there’s still some part of my heart that he still occupies. it’s not that i want us to get back together; he’s just really been a huge part of my life that he’ll always be here with me.

but funny how life plays with us sometimes. just like what happened to ted, when he finally let go of robin, along came the girl he’ll be spending the rest of his life with – the bass player at robin and barney’s wedding. and it’s even funnier that she, herself, was going through a heartbreak at the time she and ted crossed paths.

i know life in tv shows are never like real life. but is it possible for me to find “the one” if i forget about dennis altogether? he sometimes appears in my dreams at night, and i have no idea why. does this mean i still long for him? and if i do, will letting him go suddenly make “the one” appear?

running

running is my favorite exercise. i always feel at peace whenever am moving every part of my body, thinking nothing but the lyrics of the music i’m listening to, all sweaty in my trainers. it seems like the most relaxing feeling in the world – to be able to move freely.

but in life in general, is running always a good thing? is it always going to bring you peace?

carrie bradshaw said when you run, it’s either you’re heading towards something or you’re running away from it. and it got me thinking about my own life. why did i wanna go to canada in the first place?

i made the decision when the business that i was putting up at that time was in the brink of collapsing. a good friend opened up the idea to me right in the moment where i was dealing with something i couldn’t handle. i wasn’t in the best shape of my life. i had issues –  a lot of them. a crumbling endeavor, a broken heart, and a friendship that was falling apart.

i just wanted to put an end to all of them. all i can think of at that time was to be free. free from what, you ask? i had no clue. all i know is i wanna be myself and do things that will make me happy. but as i go on with getting a visa for canada, am beginning to question why i am doing it in the first place. is it for freedom? freedom from what, you ask again. and again, i have no clue. and again, all i know is i just want to be happy.

going to canada is like running. but i have to ask myself the same question carrie asked herself – am i running towards something or away from it? and i think am beginning to see the answer to this. no matter how much i hate this hell hole of a country, i think this is where i should be. simply because my life goals – help people dream again and inspire them to see that life is good – are aligned with the needs of this place. maybe this is where i should be because i can become an instrument of change here. “give help where help is really needed,” as they say.

maybe i am just trying to run away from everything that’s been hurting me that’s why i wanted to move to canada so badly. i didn’t wanna see the people who hurt me. not just the people from my past but everyone who are still causing me pain. maybe i was just trying to escape instead of facing them. freedom in this case is not really about being happy but trying not to face a painful life anymore.

carrie’s right. running, while it makes you feel free, isn’t always a good thing. it doesn’t always come along with freedom. because freedom is not always what it seems. freedom doesn’t always mean you’re gonna be happy.