the true opposite of love

i have this theory that hate isn’t the real opposite of love. it’s boredom. 

while hate is an emotion that’s as strong as love, it doesn’t necessarily mean that when you don’t love a person or your condition, you hate it. hate is not always the absence of love. sometimes, you don’t love the person or situation anymore because you’re bored; you can’t seem to find the excitement anymore. in lovers, for instance, unless your ex did something really horrible to you, you might have ended the relationship because you’re not anymore as thrilled or as excited when you two first met. you get too comfortable with each other that every moment together seems too predictable – no mystery.

in other areas of life, it’s the same. when you’re not anymore happy with your career, for instance, it might not necessarily be because you hate your job (but of course that’s possible). it might be because your work doesn’t challenge you anymore. tasks have become routinary. so ultimately, you get bored. and as you do, you interpret the feeling as hate. 

even in other circumstances such as attending parties. you were told you’re gonna love to be at the party. but an hour into the event, you might not be as exhilarated as you were when you first walked in. you get bored after realizing the night isn’t not what you expected (because expectations might not always equal reality).

and what about in life? if you say you’re not happy with your life, does that mean you don’t love it? not necessarily. chances are, your life is just lacking in adventure – in moments that make you giddy like a kid in christmas morning. of course it’s possible that you hate your life because people or circumstances make you feel as such. so unless you have an enemy that makes your blood boil or situations that make you sick thinking of them, you’re just probably bored.

so what to do to prevent love from disappearing in your life? don’t get bored. do whatever makes you thrilled. take the leap at things you’ve been trying to avoid because you were told you’ll just get hurt. because come to think of it: “so what?” at least you’re not bored – you’re happy, which makes you love your life.

author stephen covey, however, warns us of being pleasure-centered. and in a way, what he’s trying to say is this is being selfish. but this i say to him, will it be that bad to live an exciting life even if it means you’ll love every minute of it? science experts said boredom is an emotion like happiness, sadness, anger, and anxiety. we have been living our lives achieving happiness while battling off the other three, along with other negative emotions. is battling boredom any different?

to sum it up, i’d like to say this. an adventurous life is a life well-lived. is it being pleasure-centered and selfish? not exactly. because if you’re sharing the excitement and enjoyment with other people, it’s not about you – it’s about making them happy. and that my friends, is love.


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