for some reason, there has been a theme this year: letting go. and this is what sets this year apart from last year. because last year has been about trying with all my might to cling on to things i thought i valued. of course most of them are truly important. but some of them are just there to test me.
but nonetheless, letting go of things that are not really important to me has been liberating. and i am familiar with this feeling. because a few years ago, i freed myself by making a very difficult yet very important decision that will set out the course of the rest of my journey.
i just passed the series 7 exam to become a licensed stock broker. and i had only one exam (series 63) left to pass so i can start practicing my profession. but i wasn’t happy. i could feel in my bones that i’m not where am supposed to be. so even though i was almost sure i could pass the remaining series 63 exam (coz in our mock exam, i got a high score even though i hadn’t finished reviewing to the last chapter of the book yet.), i decided to hand in my resignation letter. and it was the best decision i had ever made in my life. because blessings poured in after that.
today, am in a very similar situation. am also making a very tough yet very important decision. it’s been 3 years since i embarked on my journey of migrating to canada. and it’s been 3 times that i tried and failed. and the longer i wait for my plan to materialize, the more i realize what really matters to me: to be always available for my sickly parents and for my brothers who might need my help every now and then and to be able to follow my crazy dreams for myself and my career. all of which cannot be achieved by my canada plans.
so here i am right now. running towards something instead of running away from my mistakes and the people with which i’ve made such mistakes. am still afraid of what will happen from hereon forward. but as they say, “just take the leap and the net will appear.” and i know the lord will be my net.